Higher than your average bear

What do you call a movie that broke $54 million this weekend alone?


I call it Ted


The motion picture directed by Seth Macfarlane has become the highest grossing R-rated movie in a weekend. But in all honesty, what can you expect from a guy that is the creator of 3 of the most popular shows TV despite being canceled about 3 times and having an amazing Sinatra-esque voice that aided in the selling of his first big band album Music is better than Words.


So getting back to Ted…which was filmed in my home state of Massachusetts!


Narrated by Patrick Stewart, Ted follows a young boy named John (played by Mark Wahlberg, a 35 year old man child who works at a rental car place) and his "thunda Buddy" a stuffed teddy bear named Ted. Ted has been with John ever since that faithful day on Christmas where he wished ted to be able to talk "for real". The talking bear becomes an instant celebrity once the world has discovered that he has come to life. He appears on The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson and is on countless celebrity magazine covers.


Move along about 25 years…


John and Ted are roommates. They sit around playing video games, smoking pot and watching television. They both have a fascination with the 1980's movie "Flash Gordon" stating that that is the American Dream. Being a Pro-football player and to be called to save the world. None of this is sitting well with Johns girlfriend (played by the irreplaceable Mila Kunis) who wants him to "Take the next step in their relationship" so she gives him an ultimatum- her or the Bear.


Ted is loaded with Macfarlane's extraneous humor that we can only expect to come from the bear's mouth itself. Ted is a horny little hell raiser, who messes around with hookers and drops f-bombs more than AT &T drops your phone calls. Ted is what most fans of the Seth Macfarlane trilogy can expect when it comes to crude puns and social commentary. There are a few "cutaway" scenes but they are not at all set up as they are in Family Guy.



Every issue was coved in this movie, from friendship to love and even in the sadder moment's death. It was very easy to forget that Ted was almost 2 hours long because the storylines are so sidesplitting and funny that each and every scene flew by like the changes of the seasons. Your attention is drawn to the appearance of Ted who is  fuzzy, with a Disney-esque face that could melt any icebox in anyone's heart. But then the bear opens his mouth and he is the epitome of a Boston man. A Cheers loving, beer drinking, pot smoking animal ( no pun intended)


To me, the debauchery that went on between Ted and John was ten times funnier because Ted is a child's toy. We think of a teddy bear as something that brings us comfort and helps us through rough times, but when you see teddy bear smoking pot, swearing, and dating less then reputable women, it's funny, Its like hearing a little kid swear, it's funny because they aren't supposed to say those things. And a bear is not supposed to be potty-mouthed, want sex, and do drugs, but it's funny!


 This could not have a better first showing for Mr. MacFarlane ( as a directorial debut) I was not disappointed in the least when I saw this movie. The only thing I was mad about is that my soda spilled all over my pants and I had to deal with that all movies. I guess it helped in the long run because it did cover up the pee stench that I had from laugh so much!


Note: I did not pee myself, I thought that was a good way to end this:


Here is the trailer if you have not seen it yet!! Enjoy :)